What might have been, or what will be

Have you ever thought about what might have been?  How the world might have been different if, say, we had won in Vietnam, or if Cuba had been successfully invaded at the Bay of Pigs?  What about the smaller things?  What if I had asked that cute girl at the restaurant for her number?  Would we be sitting down to dinner now, or watching the world end in a cheesy movie?  What if I had sent in my college application to UT on time?  Would it have made a difference?  Or would I still be here?

I've just turned 7.  My cat, who was always such fun to play with, can't be found.  He isn't in the back yard.  He isn't in the house.  We let him out a while ago, but he hasn't come back.  The neighbor's dog is making a lot of noise.  Is that where Ragu is?  Why do we let him play outside?

I've just turned 8.   My neighbor is moving to Europe.  I guess I won't get to spend time with his daughter anymore.  Or their cat.  I'll miss them both.  Will she ever know?  Will I see her again?

I've just turned 12.  One of the girls in my class is sitting near me on the bus.  I think she's cute.  But she'll never talk to me, except to play Uno with all of us in the back.  What would she say if I asked her to a movie?

I've just turned 16.  I have a car and a summer job, working at a hotel restaurant.  One of the hostesses, Ashley, is very cute.  Her accent sounds so good.  Is it British, or Australian?  It is just subtle enough I can't tell.  I want to see her outside of work.  In something besides the blue polo and khakis we both wear.  But would she want to see me?  I don't know, and I don't ask.

I've just turned 17, and I want to do something fun this weekend.  A friend of mine, Katie, is sitting at lunch with me.  There are several of us at the table, but she is the one sitting across from me.  She always sits there.  Everyone else may shuffle around, but she always sits there.  I wonder if she wants to do something fun this weekend.  But I'll never ask her.  I don't want her to say no.  She wouldn't, but I don't want to risk it.

I've just turned 18.  I'll be going to college in a few months.  Right now, I'm working as a stock boy and banquet organizer for a fast food shack at an amusement park.  At least this one has pools, and lifeguards, and girls in bathing suits.  But I have to work.  There is a party at the pavilion, and I have to take 45 burgers, as many hot dogs, 4 tubs of potato salad, and a big pan of baked beans over there.  I can't take the time to look at the scenery.  Why am I here?  And why don't I go chat with Melissa, the lifeguard I know from school?

I've just turned 20.  I'll be home from college soon.  I don't want to work the same summer jobs I have before.  Foodservice tires me.  I'll do construction.  I know a guy who needs good carpenters, painters, etc, and I'm pretty competent with a hammer, saw, paintbrush, whatever.  I meet the job requirements.  The only downside?  The only people on the job are us 4 guys.  But I can't do what I did before.  How will I meet new people?

I've just turned 24.  I know the perfect girl for me.  She is just as random as I am, but I don't want to ask her.  What if she says no?  Why is this still a problem for me?  I'm moving away soon, graduating and getting a job, and she'll never know.  Why is it like this?

I've just turned 35.  I got two kittens at the pound.  They're very cute.  I would rather have children, but I still haven't found the one.  Or maybe I have, and I just haven't asked her, because I can't bear the thought of her saying no.  Now I'm past my prime.  Who's left?  Or should I start singing "Here's to the losers, bless us all"?

I've just turned 70.   I've gotten new kittens.  They're just as cute as the last ones.  But they will never be what I really need.  Retirement sits well with me.  I have all the time in the world to play with my kittens.  But no one else knows I exist.  How could they?  The biggest part of my life at this age should be my grandchildren, but I can't even find a woman to have children with.

I've just turned 90.  I've moved to this "retirement community".  What they really mean is "home for old-folks-with-no-family".  They don't let me have cats anymore.  One of the other residents is allergic.  So I sit and watch TV.  I found a cat while I was out walking.  He reminded me of my first one, Ragu.  He played fetch with me.  I threw a stick, and he went and got it.  I tried to sneak him in, but I got caught.  I wonder if I can keep him as an outdoor cat.  He's the closest I'll come to a family now.  I'll have to go to the grocery store tomorrow and get cat food.

I've just turned 24.  I need to ask her out.  Before its too late.  Before I leave this town.  Before I can't.  Before I become that crazy old man with the cats.  And if she says no, I'll get over it.  It won't be the first time.  It probably won't be the last.

Text messages

"I just had an awesome dream about you.." Words on a cell phone screen. An interesting start for a Monday morning. But what kind of dream are we talking about? Was it a romantic dream, an adventurous dream, or something else? Was I her knight in shining armor, or her companion in the jungle? Did we scale a mountain, or walk downtown? Or was it a flashback to the good old days, when we walked the forest hand in hand behind the school? Or was it something more bizarre, her and I in some less friendly setting, locked in combat with the forces of darkness, or with each other?

Besides all that, what was the catalyst for this? Was she thinking of me yesterday? Or did it just come out of the blue, like dreams so often do? "I meant to send you that recipe too..but didn't remember til last night :(" Oh, that explains why I was on her mind. I had almost forgotten about that. She was going to send me a recipe for churros. Those are always tasty. It has been a while since I've had them.

I still wonder about the dream. Was I the hero, or the villain? Maybe part of the supporting cast? Or nothing quite so exciting? Would I have made the headlines, or the tabloids?

"You kept trying to keep my movies in my dream". Ok, what? I don't know why.... ok. Apparently, I wasn't the hero, maybe only a little of the villain. Who knew I would play that role? I wonder what role I'll have in her next dream, and what role she'll have in mine...

"You had a crib in your room". Huh? "It was for your little sister". I give up. Dreams are too strange to try to understand. I don't even have a sister. Maybe this one, like most, was just too much random. But it makes a good story for a Monday morning. Where else do you get things like this? I wish I could remember my dreams the way she does. I would have such stories to tell. But they would make no sense. Especially retold through text messages.

Scales

"She needs more scales." It had become a litany for Jacob, and Matt was getting tired of it. "There aren't enough scales on her tail, she doesn't look like a mermaid."

Matt had been designing this thing for 6 months. Why this guy wanted his robot to look like a mermaid.... well, Matt just about no longer cared, except that he was going to get to be the first android designer in history to build a mermaid. There was a lot of credit for that, amongst his circles. He would definitely get more contracts after this. But he was almost at the end of his rope, just from working with Jacob.

"I can only do so much with the scales at this point. If you had wanted more scales, you should have said something two months ago. Besides, mermaids are fictional creatures. What they look like is completely up to the artist creating them. But I'll add some more scales, if it will make you happy." Matt turned back to the table to work on the robot. She was beautiful from the waist up. Even from the waist down was impressive, in a fishy sort of way. Her scales shown in a rainbow of colors, from red to green to gold. And from the waist up, she was incredible. A bit of a bluish tint to her skin, hair a lovely shade of deep green, perfect curves.... she was amazing. Matt was half tempted to try a full woman shaped android based on this coloring and shaping. She would be exotic, and irresistible. An interesting idea. Perhaps later, for now, he had to finish this one.

Jacob, meanwhile, his opinion expressed, had started to wander over to the couch in the corner. Matt had put it there for customers who were waiting for finishing touches to be put on their androids, and there were times like this when he was glad it was there.

The android itself was nearly done, she was watertight (as requested) and could live underwater down to a few hundred feet. She would glide when she swam, flicking her tail like a fish, and she was smart, talkative, and humorous, if you could appreciate humor with a nautical twist. And, as mentioned before, fantastically beautiful.

Finally, he felt like he was done. The last few bits of the android's programming were in place, and she was ready to be carried off into the pool that would be her home from now on. Matt turned to Jacob. "Alright, here is your mermaid. I hope she works out for you."

Jacob got up. "Yeah, thanks. I'm so excited about this. I've never owned one of these androids before. I hope she is as much fun as everyone says." He looked at her again, a huge smile on his face, as she turned to look at him.

She returned the smile. "Hello Jacob. Is there anything I can do for you today?"

"Not yet." He turned back to Matt. "She's perfect. Now I just have to get her home to the pool." He paused a moment. "How am I supposed to do that...." His voice trailed off into silence.

"I can help you carry her down to your car, but from there, you're on your own." Matt volunteered. He was happy to help in this case, because the sooner Jacob and his mermaid were gone, the sooner he could call it a day. And the sooner he would stop having to listen to his requests, and stories about his "future with the mermaid".

Jacob grabbed the girl off the workbench, and, like a man carries a woman across the threshold in those old romances, carried her off down the stairs. He carried her out the front door, which Matt held open, and to the waiting car door, which Matt was standing right next to. Jacob closed the door, and turned back to Matt one more time.

"Thank you so much. You've made a dream of mine come true. I hope someday you will feel as happy as I do right now." And with that, he climbed into the seat of his car, and drove off.

The weekend I found out about her

From the day we met, I could tell she was something special. She had a smile so warm it could melt butter, and so sweet it could give you cavities. She was quite possibly the prettiest girl on the planet. And when she spoke, I swear I could hear music. But the oddest part was, she spoke to me. See, I was a nobody in this area. In a world where people thought more then spoke, and almost everyone could read minds, I was an outcast. I hadn't been able to hear thoughts as a child, and while this condition usually passes with puberty, for me it had not. I was the only man in our town of nearly 100,000 who had been born this way, and it made me an outcast. Women would hardly speak to me, and most of the other men avoided me, or made jokes about me that I couldn't hear. Now I was 20, and alone, and mostly unwanted. The only reason they hadn't kicked me out of town was that my parents were fairly influential, and I was the only one in town who understood how to fix and maintain the last few gasoline engine vehicles, owned by some of the older rich folks. But that left me as the outcast mechanic who no one talked to, except to get their car fixed. Until this weekend. For some reason, this girl was talking to me. And smiling at me.

I met her on Friday afternoon. She came to the shop with her grandfather, who was getting his car fixed. As he was looking over it, she came over and started talking to me. She said she had just turned 18 a few days ago, and was looking for something fun and exciting and different to do, and asked me if I had any ideas. I suggested that she get in touch with Chris, a pilot I knew from high school. He was one of the few people who still respected me, and I knew he would be nice. I also knew he had started running skydiving flights for folks who wanted an adventure. I had gone a couple times, his payment for me keeping his plane in the sky, and knew how much fun it could be. She liked the idea, and asked if I had gone before. I said yes, and she asked if I would like to go again, with her, on Saturday. She said it was only fair, since I had been so nice as to give her the suggestion. I could hardly refuse.

She brought four other people with her, all about her age, and we went up in the plane, and came back down again. She described it as the most fun she had ever had, and looked forward to doing it again sometime.

Later that evening, she came by my house. She was excited about something. Very excited. She said she had to tell someone, and she thought I'd understand. She had found a place for herself, outside of her father's house, where she could live on her own, as an adult. But she didn't know what all that would entail. She asked if I could provide some advice, if she showed me the place. I agreed, and she took me to her new apartment. It was about 2 blocks from where I lived, in an apartment that mostly catered to the young folks who attended the local college. I would have fit in there, were it not for my lack of telepathy and my job as a mechanic. She invited me into the place, which was still empty, save a mattress in the bedroom. She said she was going to get furniture tomorrow. She wanted to know if I wanted to come over when she got the place together. I said sure.

The next day, she stopped by again. It was weird that she kept coming to me to talk, or spend time. She invited me over again, saying she had gotten everything together. She said she wanted to show me something that not many people had seen before. So I went. When I got there, she showed me an old TV. I recognized it, because I was one of the few other people who had one like this. It was a replica of an almost 500 year old model, from before they developed the mental projectors that everyone used now. It was a good old fashioned rear projecting moving light style, with a speaker that produced sound.

"I rebuilt this so I could watch very old movies. The ones from before mental projection. When the people spoke to one another, and you had to use your ears to hear them. And to hear the sound. I don't like the new movies, they aren't as much fun. But the old ones were great. Have you seen one of these before?"

"Yes, I have one. I modified a player from a mental projector to display images and play sound through one of these. But I haven't seen any of the old movies."

We sat and watched Somewhere in Time, an old movie I had never heard of. And at the end, she turned to me, and said "There is something I have to tell you. Something that may surprise you. I was looking for you. My father hates it, but he accepts it. You are one of the few people I can relate to well, because, you see, I hate the telepathy. It is bad for us. The way we think with each other, the way we force our thoughts into other peoples minds. The way we sometimes broadcast what we shouldn't. I have hated it since I was 8, when I heard my parents in the next room. Perhaps heard is the wrong word.... I felt them. They were broadcasting everything they were feeling and seeing, and they were doing something no 8 year old girl should know about. Which is why I sought you. You have a unique ability, in this world of telepathy. You don't hear the noise of your neighbors thoughts. Only your own. I wish I could experience that, just for one day. But instead, I hear the voices."

We sat in silence for a while after that, until I had to go. But I knew we would see each other the next day. And I told her so, and bid her farewell. I hope this is the beginning of something good.

Survival of the Fittest, Part 6

Morning came too soon for Jack, and the rain came with it. Being the first to wake again, he climbed out of his tent, and took a look around. Interestingly, there was a car parked behind the truck. Sitting in the passenger seat was a man that looked mildly familiar. The man climbed out when he saw Jack getting out of his tent.

"Well, this isn't too much of a surprise Jack. I guess you picked up a lot from my class." Once the man started talking, Jack immediately knew who he was. This was clearly the TA from the wilderness survival class.

While the man might not have been terribly surprised by Jack's presence, Jack was certainly surprised by his. "What are you doing here?" Jack began. "There is almost no reason that I can think of for you to be here randomly. Why aren't you at camp? Where's the professor? And what is the deal with that plane crash?"

"Well..." the man paused, and walked over to the truck, leaning against the side. "You may have guessed by now, this was actually your final. You all jumped out of the plane, with gear to last a couple days, and your tents had tracking devices in them. Interestingly enough, in four years of administering this test, you are the only ones to successfully find your way back to civilization, though to be fair, we didn't really count on anybody finding a truck that worked. Also, I am the professor. The guy who stood up every week was my TA."

Jack walked over to a tree stump, and sat down. "Don't you think this is a little cruel? For an exam, this is a little over-the-top. What if somebody died?"

The professor paused for a moment as if in thought, then smiled. "That hasn't happened yet, and I feel fairly safe about that. After all, you people just went through a wilderness survival training class. If you guys had trouble lasting the woods for a week or two, then you really shouldn't be passing a class on wilderness survival, now should you?"

As Jack contemplated his next question, he noticed that Alli had woken up. She was still a little silent, so it was entirely possible that their visitor he had yet to notice that she was up. "Still, there is no way that the administration actually endorses this test. In fact, they probably don't even know about it, do they?"

"Do you honestly think that I would do something like this without some kind of higher up knowing about it? Do you really think I'm that dumb?"

Without warning, Alli's tent opened, and Alli came charging out, carrying her gun. She quickly swung it around, pointing it straight at the professor, who promptly dropped to the ground.

"Are you mad woman? Don't point that gun at me! If you're not careful, you'll kill someone!"

Alli looked at the man as he cowered on the ground, anger clearly visible in her eyes. She had every right to be angry; she had been dumped in the middle of nowhere, without warning, as part of a test for a class. "I don't think there's a jury on earth that would convict me after this fiasco of yours. You threw us in the middle of the jungle, and asked us to fend for ourselves for a week without warning. I'd be surprised if no one took a shot at you in the past some time."

"Look, look, just calm down, there's no need for violence here. Just get in the car, we'll go to the airport, and you can get home, get a shower, get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning. I promise."

Jack got up from where he was sitting, and walked over to Alli. "Look, he's right, you know. We can't exactly get out of this country easily without him. So don't go blowing his brains out until we get back home."

Alli smiled and then started laughing. "I wasn't going to shoot him. I just wanted to scare him a little. I wanted him to feel a little bit of how we feel we right now."

The professor got back up, and started making his way back towards his car. "Wake up your last guy, and let's get out of here. I want you three to be on your way back home, by noon."

Jack went over and gave Jon's tent a shake. Jon came climbing out a few seconds later, and the three of them packed up their gear, throwing it in the trunk of the car.

The trip to the airport was uneventful, as was the flight home. When they got back, they all headed to their respective houses, to get cleaned up. After quick showers and changing clothes, they all met up in front of the administration building for their college. They were determined to make a change to the wilderness survival course. They were sure that they could get something to happen. But hours of conversation with administrator after administrator was futile. No one knew what was going on in that class, and no one believed them when they said that they had been thrown out of the plane with almost no equipment, and no way to get home. Finally, after all the administrators had gone home, they gave up hope. After a while, they resorted to simply telling the story to anyone who would listen. No matter how often they told the story, no one believed them. It seemed like a runaway ghost story you'd tell at a campfire, not anything that could possibly have happened in real life.

Survival of the Fittest, Part 5

Morning came again, and the rain with it, making that familiar sound on the tent wall. As Jack got out and looked around, he noticed the others were still asleep. Taking the opportunity, he grabbed the rifle and started to look for some prey. After an hour of fruitless searching, he headed back to camp. As he got there, the familiar sight of a pistol coming from the open door of Alli's tent greeted him.

"And good morning to you too, Alli."

She smiled as she climbed out of the tent. "Since we don't know how far it is to the next town, I think we should skip breakfast today, so we can stretch our supplies a bit longer."

"Yeah, that's not a bad plan. We'll do that today."

Jon started to climb out of his tent, and they all grabbed the gear and packed up. As they were loading it into the truck, Jack started to think. the distance and speed they were going at should put them back in the city they flew out of within another day of traveling, if this road led there. Assuming his sense of direction hadn't been too messed up from the jump and the days in the woods, he was sure it would be close, at least.

As they got back into the truck, they took the same places as last time. He started them moving and tried to maintain a good speed. Finally, the trees backed up and the road opened up, and he shifted up to fifth gear. Now they were making good time. He saw the light starting to fade, but he also saw the lights of the city ahead of him. He didn't want to slow down, didn't want to let up. He wanted to get there, now. They started to enter town, and the small houses at the outskirts were clearly much nicer then the village. These houses looked more like the houses back home, at least in this area. They started to look for an open area, an empty lot, someplace they could stay. Finally, they found a park. It was empty, so they pulled into the parking lot, put the cover on the truck, and pitched the tents.

Survival of the Fittest, Part 4

Rain came with the morning. The tone of the drops changed on the roof, as the tin roof made the sound more solid, more defined. Jack woke to the sound and looked around. Alli had already gotten up, but Jon still lay there. Jack decided to let him sleep in for a bit, and stepped out of the cabin. Alli was across the way, trying to get into one of the houses. As Jack walked across the open area, he looked around at the rest of the village. There were about twelve buildings in total, in two rows separated by a wide dirt road. In the gaps between the buildings, various undergrowth had taken root, making the village feel that much smaller, with the jungle encroaching on the village. All of the buildings looked mostly the same, with one exception at the end of the row. Each was roughly fifteen feet by 25 feet, built of jungle wood with corrugated tin roofs. The odd building out was taller then the rest, deeper, and wider. It looked to be a barn of some type, with a large double door occupying the bulk of the front wall.

As he reached the door Alli was struggling with, she turned and looked at him. "Good of you to wake up this morning. Can you help me with this door?"

"I'll see what I can do." Jack wandered around the building, finally finding a window he could see the door from. He could make out the braces on it, and it looked like the door was barred. But, the window was too small for him to get through. "Hey, Alli, come here. I can get you in the house so you can open the door."

She came around the corner, looking at him. "I already tried that. I can't reach the window. I'm not that tall."

He smiled. "You don't have to. I can, and I can get you up there. Assuming you don't have a problem with that."

She shrugged and walked up to where he was standing. He grabbed her, lifting her up to the window easily. She pulled herself in, while he helped keep her steady. Once she slipped the rest of the way in, he walked around to the front door. As he walked up to it, she pulled it open. "Welcome to my home, handsome stranger" she said in a fake southern accent. "Won't you come in and enjoy a nice glass of fresh squeezed lemonade?"

He laughed at her joke, and stepped through the now open door, looking around. This house was already empty, and had nothing of use in it. Even the beds were gone, leaving the house completely useless.

They checked the rest of the houses, searching each one for anything ever remotely useful. They didn't find much else, just a few more cans of food and a few more rounds of ammunition. But it was something. Finally, they got to the barn. It wasn't locked, and they fully expected it to be empty. But they got lucky. There was a truck in it. It was an old toyota pickup, probably from the 80s. It had what looked like a 50 gallon drum of fuel in the back, and a couple extra drums in the barn. There was also a toolbox in the back of the truck, which had some sockets, wrenches, screwdrivers, and a hammer, just the basics. Jack hopped into the truck, finding the keys in the ignition, and tried to start it up. No luck. Expecting the battery to be dead from age, he decided to try plan B.

"It won't start, but I think we can push start it. Let's go drag Jon out of bed."

Alli smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he shouldn't be sleeping right now anyway. See, the rain has almost cleared up."

They walked over to the cabin, and found Jon sitting up in bed. "I was just about to get up and find you guys. Find anything useful?"

"A bit more ammo and food. Also, a truck," said Alli.

"A truck, huh? Did you try and start it?"

"Yeah, but lets walk and talk," said Jack. Jon hopped out of bed, and followed them out the door. Jack continued "I tried to start it, but it didn't start. I'm not sure why, but my guess was the battery. It has to have been sitting here for a couple of years. I think we should try push starting it, and if that doesn't work, we'll try some other things."

"Sounds like a plan. If that doesn't work, I'll take a look at it and see what I can make out."

They pushed the truck out of the barn, and got it pointed down the road in the middle of the village.

"Alright, so who rides, who pushes?" asked Alli.

Jack looked at her. "Can you drive stick? Have you done a push start before?"

"Yes and no" she answered. "I hadn't even heard of push starting before today. How does it work?"

"Well, basically, you have a couple people push the car to get it rolling. Once it gets moving a bit, you let out the clutch and gas it, just like if you were starting at a light. If you do it right, the engine will catch and start, and you can recharge the battery. Do it wrong and the car jumps hard against the people pushing."

"Hmm" she answers. "I don't have the experience, and it has been a while since I've driven stick. Why don't you start, we'll push. I think that'll work."

Alli and Jon take up positions behind the truck, and Jack climbs in. "Ready?" he calls.

"Ready!" they answer, and start pushing. They get a bit of speed as the truck reaches the edge of the village, and Jack starts to let the clutch out. He feels the catch point, feels the engine resist, and punches the gas. The truck roars to life, dumping a little smoke and throwing up dirt as the wheels spin. Jack eases off and makes a turnaround in the field, then comes back to the barn. Leaving the truck idling, he puts on the parking brake and hops out.

"Let's grab the gear, and the two extra barrels of fuel, and try and get out of here. There is a tarp car cover in the barn, lets take that too. It'll give us a way to keep the gas drums in the back safe." They all scramble to grab the gear, weapons, and gas drums, loading up the truck, tying things in place, and preparing for the trip. Once it was all tied down, Jack hopped back in the drivers seat. Jon grabbed a spot in the back with the gear, and picked up the shotgun, while Alli hopped in the passenger seat. They started off along what was left of the road, making good time now, with minimal obstalces. They climbed over the couple of downed trees with the truck, only once stopping to clear an obstacle, which was a very large tree. As night approached, they debated trading spots and pushing on through the night. Jack tried the lights. When they didn't come on, the debate was settled, and they looked for a clearing to stay the night in. They found one right by the road, and set up camp for the night.

After making camp, they grabbed some food from the supplies, and put the cover on the truck. They talked for a while, and finally lay down for the night. As Jack lay down, he thought how things were looking up. They had fast transport, and hopefully this road led somewhere civilized, where they could contact home. The night sounds caught up to him, and he fell off to a deep, restful sleep.